1-19 Into(star)Dust

In which the Robo-Archivist shares some of Bethany's personal correspondence.   

inc: The Podcast is:  
Allyson Levine as Bethany  
Leah Cardenas (@leahgabrielle____) as The Announcements  
Ellis MacMillan (linktr.ee/mothscraps) as The Robo-Archivist  

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Transcript

19. Into(Star)Dust
ROBO-ARCHIVIST: Personnel File: Bethany. Job Title: Junior-Employee-Lead
(Non-compensated Acting Supervisor) - General Data Acquisition and Storage Department.
Corporate Standing: Neutral. Recovered Personal Correspondence 1. Priority Level: Low.
BETHANY: To whom it may concern at Assisted Senior Living Substation 124, this letter is in
response to your recent communication with me in regards to my Gran-Giver Renata’s removal
from your fine facility. The possible premature removal of this very kind, very loving, and
very-much-elderly-assistance-needing person catches me completely off guard, as I’m sure it
did yourselves, being the kind people that I know you are. I’m very sorry for the delay in
reaching you, I am recently employed on an intergalactic ship, and as such my address has
been updated several times in the past few months as preparations for my new position got
underway.
Addressing your specific concerns - please note that I am more than happy to cover the
overdue balance at the specified interest rate, I’m just asking that a small amount of time be
granted before we keep throwing around phrases like “eviction” and “forcibly surrendering
personal property to cover the amount due before the end of the month.”
I’d like it to be known that I am now proudly employed, and that the courier service that
handles the transfer of company script to and through the currency exchange bank is willing to
make an exception and waive their usual percentage fee since most of the paycheck will be
going directly to the Assisted Living Substation, and as you know, you are both subsidiaries of
the same lifestyle/financial management company.
I know, and readily acknowledge that dealing with my family has not been easy over the
past few years. It might not mean anything to you, and I understand if it doesn’t, but you don’t
really expect your Caregiver to stop payment on their Caregiver’s only place to live, just
because of a family argument that didn’t even involve my Gran-Giver in the first place. Although,
if I’m honest, it’s not the biggest surprise of my life. It’s just unfortunate.
I was away at the time, and couldn’t be there to help directly, and once I was contacted I
was also already in the process of being hired for this job and everything just happened at once.
I know that doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things, but I just wanted to let
you know that there’s a person out there that cares about their Gran-Giver Renata, and that
person is willing to do what it takes to make sure they can live out the rest of their life in the
comfort or failing that, the next best package you are willing to offer us.
Please. I’m just asking you to work with me here.
You don’t ever have to deal with my Caregiver again.
You’ll get every single bit of the money that you’re owed, payment starting within the next
week.
You will get the satisfaction and joy of helping an incredibly loving and beautiful person
named Renata end their life in comfort and care, instead of in confusion and fear of being a
burden.
Please, let’s find a way to work together, for the good of everybody involved. Please.
Thank you very much.
Sincerely,
Bethany.
P.S. - Please, if you could, don’t tell my Gran-Giver about any of this. They don’t need to worry.
Even if it doesn’t work, if you could just…please… I just… They don’t deserve that.
Thank you.
I’m sorry.
ROBO-ARCHIVIST: Recovered Personal Correspondence 22. Priority Level: Low.
BETHANY: Dear Educator Andre,
Before I am allowed to begin the bulk of this letter, I’m contractually required to urge you
to use only Gerry’s Genuine Synthetic Wood Replacement - Not wood, not synthetic wood, all
replacement - for all your synthetic wood replacement needs, as they sponsored the contest
wherein I won the sending fee that allows me to address you now.
I can remember sitting in your class, not that many years ago, and you saying something
to the effect of: Life has no inherent meaning that has ever been proven in a rational and
scientific manner. And until that day comes, it will be up to each and every one of you to create
that meaning in your own lives.
What I don’t remember you saying, what I don’t really remember anybody saying in fact,
is just how hard it is to find that meaning day after day, year after year, decade after decade and
so on and whatnot and you get where I’m going with this, I hope.
I’m not sure exactly why I’m sending this to you, also, so please don’t feel odd or weird
or like you should remember me. I was just one face in a few thousand, just a few eyes pointed
your way, just like everybody else. So, please, don’t remember me. I guess maybe I just think
that you should tell your students, if you’re still educating, that meaning doesn’t come easily.
I don’t know.
There might be giant patches of your life that seem totally devoid of meaning, despite
you trying your best to make them count in a way that doesn’t seem silly or naive. It’s something
they should be prepared for, like heartbreak, or legal trouble, or a thousand other things that our
educational period doesn’t really educate us in.
Maybe this comes from settling into a rough approximation of adult life, or maybe I’m just
retroactively seeking guidance after a gigantic change in my life, (I’m out on an intergalactic
ship, by the way, so if there’s an extra reception tax for this letter, that’d be why), but I guess
what I’d just like to say is that I wish you, and by extension all the other educators, would just be
real with your students about what the universe is like. They’re going to find out sooner or later,
and they might as well have a chance to brace for impact, right? I mean, inspiration is nice and
all, but reality sinks in quickly, let me tell you.
Not that I need to, you’re a teacher, you’ve gotta be pretty broken at this point yourself.
Anyways, feel free to listen to this, or not, I suppose. Whatever, I’m contractually
obligated to send this no matter what. I’m just an incredibly low ranking employee trying to
befriend their senior coworker, while also dealing with a job that’s as mind-numbing as it is
incredibly boring. What the hell do I know, right?
All the best to you and yours, for whatever that’s worth,
Bethany
P.S. - The Gerry’s Genuine Synthetic Wood Replacement people need me to end this with a
personal statement about synthetic wood replacement and my experiences with it. I’m sure you
could use it for pencils. So do that, please, next time you’re manufacturing or replacing pencils.
Which you’re not allowed to. Because you’re a teacher.
ROBO-ARCHIVIST: Recovered Personal Correspondence 586. Priority Level: Low.
BETHANY: To whom it may concern at Living Grace Honorary Memorialized Burial, Cremation,
Funerary, and Life Insurance Incorporated Partners. I have received your message about the
death of my direct Caregiver, Chadwich (pronounced shad-wick), child of Caregiver Renata, on
or about the rough date of a month ago or whatever.
While I appreciate the concern with which you sent your communication, please note
that I’m probably the last person that should be speaking about Chadwich when they’re not alive
and present to defend themselves. I have no personal problem with it, but I’ve been told that
some find it tacky to insult someone after they’ve died.
I suppose they have a point. But, as a counterpoint, I’m the single lucky child of good ‘ol
Caregiver Chadwich, and might literally be the only person to say anything at all, so I’m just
gonna tell the truth, and let you decide what to do with it. Here goes.
Chadwich. Child of Renata. Caregiver to Bethany. Made that title incredibly ironic, just
about every day.
Chadwich was a person with a work ethic that was unmatched by anybody around them.
Unfortunately, Chadwich had almost no interest in using that work ethic to take care of their
family at all, leaving the majority of the child-raising duties to Renata when Bethany was young,
and leaving all of the elder care to Bethany when Renata reached an age where they needed
more assistance than two messages a year, the first bragging about all the money they’ve
made, and the second begging to borrow money since they just lost all their earnings on a new,
shiny, investment scam.
There was one aspect of parenting, if you want to call it that, that Chadwich insisted on
having their own personal touch applied to. This was known, in our family, as “preparation for
the cold, hard, universe”, but was known to more rational, kinder, folks, as “belittling your only
child.”
Chadwich had a way with words that could have made them an incredible salesperson, a
talented speech-writer, or excel at any number of oratory-oriented jobs. Unfortunately, they
mainly used these silver tongues to cut away any sense of self-esteem that had been accrued
by their child since the last time they had visited. Anything they disliked in themselves would be
used as ammunition in an off and on, cold and hot, war against those perceived as “happier
than.”
Chadwich had the innate and unfortunate ability to escape any serious personal harm for
anything they attempted. They were never detained or imprisoned for more than a week or two
at a time, and the lengthy list of legal charges that were brought against them always seemed to
get pared down to various minor infractions carrying no real penalty except increasing their
general rage at the universe as a whole.
A rage which appears to have manifested itself in their child as well. Strange, huh? But I
digress.
Unfortunately, instead of using their seemingly divinely-ordained luck to re-examine their
life and take one of the many chances the universe had offered them, they viewed every
experience through the eyes of their ego and simply thought themselves beyond punishment
and yet the victim in some grand game that they forced upon everyone they met.
Chadwich lived a full and interesting life, probably. Unfortunately that life was lived at the
expense of anybody that might have dared to care about them. And I think that’s probably all
that deserves to be said about the most truly unnecessary person I’ve ever known.
You can choose to read this at whatever service is held for them, if one is. I will not be
sending any money for funerary expenses. Give them whatever you think they deserve. I
suggest a pit in a corner somewhere. No need to offend the other deceased who deserve the
respect a person’s body is entitled to. No need to keep the actual people next to the trash.
Thank you for your time,
Bethany.
ROBO-ARCHIVIST: Recovered Personal Correspondence 1,003. Priority Level: Moderate.
BETHANY: Dear Council-person Peggy-Anne et. all,
Before we get to the actual message, I think I should inform you that the delete key on
this terminal doesn’t really work, and by that I mean it doesn’t work at all, so I’m gonna do my
best to not make any mistakes, but just in case there’s any overly long run-on sentences or
anything like that you should know it’s just because I can’t delete anything, because once again
the delete key doesn’t work at all, and I mean at all at all, if I don’t like how it looks. Much like
this opening, sorry about that. Anyways, here we go.
I just wanted to send this quick as a little thank you for your generous and surprising
holiday gift. Quite honestly, when Patricia said that they were getting a holiday box from their
Caregivers I was perfectly fine just sharing in their happiness, but when they pulled out the little
box inside… Well I, I got more than a little bit emotional.
Being perfectly candid, I didn’t exactly have the best time as a child or during my
educational period. The holidays were never particularly enjoyable, even though my Gran-Giver
did their best with what they had. This is actually my first holiday where I haven’t heard from
them, and I made sure to send a little something, of course, I just haven’t heard anything back,
so it was nice to have something on the holiday itself.
Without getting too overly personal, the way Patricia talks about the group of you makes
me think that you’re probably really good people, so just thank you for that, and thank you for
raising Patricia the way you did. They’ve become a really good friend to me since I got here,
and that’s another thing that I really haven’t had too many of in the past, so that’s the bigger gift
you gave. I wish there was a way to retype that sentence so it wasn’t so mushy. I also wish I
could delete that last sentence complaining about the previous one. I’m going to stop this now
so it doesn’t get too out of control. I just want to apologize for how mushy and messy all of that
was. And then we can move on. So I’m sorry. Again.
To wrap up this very strange and rambling message from somebody you’ve never met,
thank you again for everything. In a universe that can be very dark and empty, you all are
shining stars that have given a little bit of light, in the form of a very nice coffee cup.
With love,
Bethany
ROBO-ARCHIVIST: Recovered Personal Correspondence 1,017. Priority Level: Non-existent.
Attached Document has been viewed: 0 times.
BETHANY: To: Personnel Director Nathanial
From: Bethany (General Data Acquisition and Storage Department)
I am respectfully and formally requesting a transfer off of this company ship. I know that
my contract is still active for many, many, cycles, but please at least read through my list of
reasons.
1- In the past, other People have been given either a leave or transfer due to a sudden and
unexpected death in their relatively immediate family, which I have experienced within the last
48 hours. (See attached certificate from Assisted Senior Living Substation 124.)
2- Though I am currently the only available staff for the General Data Acquisition and Storage
Department, the job can be done very adequately by a single Artificial Intelligence, with almost
no downtime associated with the changeover of duties to non-organic personnel.
3- I have recently been categorized as an employee requiring demeritization and lengthy
punishment. Though I disagree with the recent decisions made by the disciplinary board
regarding the incident involving Patricia and myself, I accept it. I have no choice in the matter. If
I were allowed a transfer, you could easily replace me with somebody who more positively
exemplifies the traits that this company ship holds dear.
I appreciate your time in considering this, and look forward to hearing your decision.
Please understand that I realize this out of the ordinary too. I know it’s nothing that has to be
done, I’m just hoping that you might be willing to assist me, as a Person.
Thank you very much, I’ll be waiting anxiously for your reply.
ROBO-ARCHIVIST: Recovered Personal Correspondence 1,018. Priority Level: Non-existent.
BETHANY: To: Personnel Director Nathanial
From: Bethany (General Data Acquisition and Storage Department)
Hello again. Before anything else, let me just acknowledge that I received your Denial of
Transfer Form, and have read it in its entirety, even the attached piece explaining that this case
is now completely shut. I would be remiss in my duty to myself, however, if I didn’t at least give it
another try. I attempted to give you logical reasoning last time, and I see that failed. I’ll try a new
tactic. I’ll try honesty.
The last…oh, I don’t know, call it a year, yeah, the last year of my life has been such a
pile of garbage that the Anti-Waste People are drawing straws to see who has to deal with it.
Fun fact, that joke elicited a small chuckle from me a few months ago. I’ve thought it at least a
thousand times since then, and it hasn’t gotten another laugh all those at least one thousand
times. That’s the standard we’re setting here.
I have no personal life to speak of, not that it would matter to the company ship, but
personally, that’s a bit of a downer for me. My only colleague has been promoted above and
away from me for certain reasons that I still don’t agree with, but was forced to sign a form
stating are completely accurate. I am quite literally the last person in my family, immediate or
otherwise, and to put it as simply as possible, my entire life has fallen apart and I’m holding on
by just about the smallest thread I have.
If I don’t get away from here soon, I don’t know what’s going to happen. I might just snap
one day, and I’m not really sure what will happen if it gets to that point.
I’m very lost, and I’m very alone, and all I want to do is get off of this ship.
Please.
ROBO-ARCHIVIST: Recovered Personal Correspondence 1,019. Priority Level: Non-existent.
BETHANY: To: Personnel Director Nathanial
From: Bethany (General Data Acquisition and Storage Department[I can’t believe I
have to write that every time.])
I hate you.
I hate this ship.
I hate my life.
Every time I wake up I’m disappointed that the ship hasn’t had a catastrophic
malfunction and killed us all in the night.
If I could, I would systematically inject every crew member of every rank and class on
this ship with a giant sedative, and perform incredibly precise surgery on the pieces of their
mind that control things like empathy and emotional connection to others so that for once in their
unimportant lives they can feel something.
We are a floating monument to everything that’s wrong with our species.
We are the most self-destructive tendencies of the universe brought to life.
What are we when we’ve become the entropy that life instinctually fights against?
What happened to People?
Why doesn’t anybody care anymore?
I think they did at one point.
They had to, for us to be here at all.
But those people are gone, I guess.
And here I am.
Sentenced to suffer and eventually die.
My only consolation is that no matter how much money or power any of you accumulate,
it won’t matter in the end.
And there’s nothing you can do about it.
I don’t need your help anymore, but if you ever have a change of heart and think you
might like to pitch in, feel free to die as quickly and quietly as possible.
No spectacle please, this doesn’t need to be public.
You don’t deserve that.
You deserve to be alone, just like I am.
ROBO-ARCHIVIST: Recovered Personal Correspondence 1,021. Priority Level: Moderate.
Note: Message was not able to be delivered. As of this date, the Robo-Archivist and the being
known as Bethany are the only two forms of life that have ever seen this message.
BETHANY: Dear Gran-Giver Renata,
I really wish you were here, and that I could talk to you, or get a message back from you,
or maybe just have you remind me what it felt like to have somebody care about me.
I don’t know what my life is anymore.
I thought it was something, but it’s just…
It’s just not.
There’s a whole universe out there, and all I ever get are grey walls.
I just don’t know what to do.
I just don’t know.
I love you.
And I miss you.
And I love you some more.
And I’ll always your little Gran-Baby,
Bethany
ROBO-ARCHIVIST: As of the date of this standard Robo-Archivist backup sub-routine, Bethany
has never sent another personal correspondence.
An echo of Bethany’s previous line floats over a soft piece of music.
BETHANY: I love you. And I miss you. And I love you some more.
The music stops.
BETHANY: Always your little Gran-baby,
Bethany.
END