2-10 (Un)Comfortable Silence

In which Jonas "convinces" Bethany that they need help.    

inc: The Podcast is:  

Katie Ploetz as Tomas  

Chase Guthrie Knueven as Jesse    

James Allen as The Subdirector      

Allyson Levine as Bethany  

Raimy O. Washington as Jonas  

Jacob Pfeiffer as Nancy   

Leah Cardenas as the Intercom  

Elle Lu Thompson as Button  

Stevie Faye as The Overdirector  

As promised, you can get your very own therapy button here.  

inc: The Podcast is written, produced, and edited, by Monte D. Monteleagre and Alexander Wolfe, and is a production of Wolf Mountain Workshop, which now has a Patreon! Join us at www.patreon.com/WolfMountainWorkshop to support our shows and get access to bonus content as well as our exclusive Discord: The Caves of Wolf Mountain.  

You can also find us on our website, https://www.wolfmountainworkshop.org/, which has links to all our socials along with more information about our shows, our merch, and whatever else we feel like putting there. Or you could reach out to us directly at wolfmountainworkshop@gmail.com.  

Emotional support for inc: The Podcast is lovingly provided by: Birdie, Rodeo, Jewel, Sakura, Gracie, Luna, Hazel, Kyo, Hamilton, Beau and The Slug. 

New episodes every other Monday.   

Ask yourself: how can M-E, work for me?   

———  

Apocalypse Radio is a mostly lighthearted show about loyalty, laughter, and love in the zombie apocalypse. Tune in to hear about Will and Mason’s experience in the evacuee moon colony as Will deals with a zombie bite and Mason holds out hope for the vaccine. Is Will going to turn? How are Mason and the other survivors coping with the move to the moon colony? Find the answers in Apocalypse Radio, Season 2.  

https://audicinal.info/apocalypse-radio/  

Transcript

(Un)Comfortable Silences
inc: The Podcast episode 2-10
by
Monte D. Monteleagre and Alexander Wolfe
CHARACTER NAME
Tomas
Jesse
Sub-Director
Bethany
Nancy
Jonas
Intercom
Button
Over-Director
Inc theme
Episode theme, something threatening and growing, like a
heart beating with malice it knows what you did and so
do you but the brain can lie the heart can’t lie and it
knows what you did.
Fade in on the Pod.
TOMAS
This is called Two Bodies, One Heart.
JESSE
By Team Alpha Alliance.
TOMAS
The fields are green and it is obscene that I would gleen this day without you.
JESSE
Picture this scene so serene when we were teens without you.
TOMAS
We were to convene and drink protein but I was unseen without you.
JESSE
I was off-screen working at the machine for my boss Jean without you.
TOMAS
I was between flavors of beans eating them so clean without you.
JESSE
Addicted to nicotine and the slot machine I was spending my green without you.
TOMAS
I’d prefer kerosene or perhaps Florentine or bromine to being without you.
JESSE
I need Caffeine it’s color dark green it’s flavor obscene without you.
TOMAS
I apply sunscreen while feeling mean but I am unclean without you.
2.
JESSE
(Starting to cry.)
Glycerin on the split-screen with the gasoline without you.
TOMAS
(Fully tears.)
Merchant marine, sewing machine, things heard and seen without you.
JESSE
(Barely able to get it out.)
Obscene obscene obscene without you.
TOMAS
Two bodies.
JESSE
One heart.
A tearful hug. A long pause.
SUB-DIRECTOR
Uh-huh.
And your prompt was...?
JESSE
(Holding Jesse so class.)
The last time we weren’t able to hang out two days in a row.
Both openly weep.
SUB-DIRECTOR
Uh-huh.
TOMAS
Best friends.
2.
3.
JESSE
4eva.
TOMAS
4 life.
SUB-DIRECTOR
Uh-huh.
Be sure to return your rhyming dictionary to the resource book wing after our meeting
today.
TOMAS
We’ll do itJESSE
Together.
SUB-DIRECTOR
And of course, thank you so much for your, you said it was a poem right? Thank you so
much for your poem, Team Alpha Alliance. The Mental Ennervation Colonies will
certainly find a use for that.
TOMAS
(Getting it together.)
You’re welcome, Sub-Director. Jamison.
SUB-DIRECTOR
Just Sub-Director is fine. So we’ve heard Team Extraneous but Interesting’s little FrogShaped story with the Frog-Shaped Patricia and we’ve also heard a... you called it a poem
right? We also heard a poem from Team Alpha Alliance.
Team Exceptionalism, that just leaves you.
NANCY
(Confident, maybe for the first time.)
It’s just Nancy now, actually.
3.
4.
SUB-DIRECTOR
Unfortunately we can’t change any team names after the contest starts, it gets confusing
for all the Sub-Directors and Directors and Over-Directors involved and then there’s the
paperworkBETHANY
Wait, is Desiree not in the program anymore?
SUB-DIRECTOR
There will be plenty of time for questions after the announcementBETHANY
Did they leave the contest? Can you leave the contest?
SUB-DIRECTOR
Bethany, please, Nancy was very kind not to interrupt your frog-shaped story, especially
given the circumstances.
BETHANY
What circumstances?
SUB-DIRECTOR
Please save your questions for after the announcement.
BETHANY
What announcement?
JONAS
Bethany, I think you have to save your questions for after the announcement.
SUB-DIRECTOR
Thank you Jonas.
JONAS
No problem, Sub-Director.
BETHANY
Can we just- skip to the announcement? I don’t know if I can pay attention to Nancy’s
story if I’m, you know, making up announcements in my head the whole time.
4.
5.
SUB-DIRECTOR
Nancy, if you would like to begin, I’m sure Jonas can take care of their Neophyte.
JONAS
I’m on it Sub-Director.
(To Bethany, begging.)
Bethany, for the first time, I’m going to need you to respect my authority.
NANCY
My prompt was the recent “disappearance” of my Senior Neophyte Desiree. The word
disappearance was, of course, in quotations.
BETHANY
(Genuinely shocked.)
Desiree is missing?
NANCY
(Pushing past that.)
This is a poem entitled, “A Letter to the Corpse Outside My Window.”
The episode theme begins again.
This poem is half-confession, half-accusation.
NANCY
I don’t think we were ever friends,
Even if you said we were
Like pouring food into the bowl
Of some helpless animal.
I was your pet,
Unable to be off leash for more than a minute
Without jumping the fence
Desperate to get mauled by some greater creature.
5.
6.
But I don’t think we were ever friends
In the way you would tell me your secrets
And I would tell you mine
And we would hold each other on dark nights
Thunder rolling in the distance
As us softer things begin to yap in fear.
For if we were holding each other
Arms entwined like the ivy crawling up
The stone columns of that university
You loved and I attended
How would I take your notes for you
As you held my leash?
And I don’t think we were ever friends
Even on that night when I,
Brave for the first time,
Told you I loved you and you laughed it off
And we pretended I didn’t remember it the next day.
We were never friends,
And now I am unleashed.
A moment as the music fades.
SUB-DIRECTOR
Excellent work, Team Exceptionalism.
NANCY
(Just enough accusation.)
What did you think? Bethany?
TOMAS
But it didn’t even rhyme.
JESSE
Poems have to rhyme.
NANCY
Some of us have moved beyond simple rhyming games.
6.
7.
TOMAS
And SOME of us remembered to RHYME in our POEMS.
JESSE
Yeah, but not ALL of us, right Tomas? Embarrassing.
TOMAS
Bethany and Jonas didn’t even write a poem. Super embarrassing.
JONAS
It didn’t have to be a poem.
TOMAS
It didn’t? Sub-Director, they’re embarrassed, right?
SUB-DIRECTOR
It didn’t have to be a poem.
TOMAS
Okay, but you’re on thin ice, Bethany. And you, Nancy, slightly thicker ice.
NANCY
I don’t think about you at all, Tomas.
TOMAS
Jesse, quick, I need reassurance.
JESSE
I think about you all the time, Tomas.
TOMAS
Thank you, Jesse.
NANCY
So what did you think, Bethany?
BETHANY
Somebody said something about an announcement earlier?
SUB-DIRECTOR
Ah yes, the announcement. Oh, Intercom? Specialty announcement 402 please.
7.
8.
INTERCOM
The Mental Ennervation Colonies regret to inform you about the passing of a Senior
Neophyte assigned to your Particular Pod. Senior Neophyte Desiree accidentally found
their way into a trash ejector and then accidentally got jettisoned into space accidentally.
The Mental Ennervation Colonies and the Story Creation and Development Program are
launching a full investigation into this accident which accidentally resulted in the death of
a member of your particular pod, accidentally.
Please understand that in order for this investigation to remain untampered-with, the full
investigation into what is most definitely an accident will be done entirely in secret, and
you may never know of its results, but remember, in times of unresolved grief your
mental health is your responsibility and yours alone.
Thank you for understanding and please enjoy this complimentary moment of silence.
A moment of silence interrupted by Bethany.
BETHANY
(More confused than worried.)
Wait, Desiree is dead?
INTERCOM
And with that moment of uninterrupted silence complete, we thank you for being a part
of our ME family, even if it is just a little bit smaller than it was before. Ask yourself,
how can ME work for me?
Interlude.
Bethany and Jonas’ Office.
BETHANY
(Full spiral.)
Jonas you are not listening to me.
JONAS
I am, Bethany, it’s just8.
9.
BETHANY
I’m about 80% sure Nancy wants to kill me because they think I killed Desiree.
JONAS
80% is an improvement... on 100%... I guess. Now, whyBETHANY
Because it’s 80 % obvious at least, you heard themJONAS
There was a lot going onBETHANY
Yeah a lot of them staring daggers at me and reading me their stupid little poemJONAS
I don’t think Nancy wants toBETHANY
Oh there goes Jonas, always looking for the best in people.
JONAS
You said that like it isn’t the bedrock our friendship is based on.
BETHANY
They said they were, “Unleashed,” Jonas. Unleashed. Off. The. Leash.
JONAS
Okay? I think that was a metaphor...
BETHANY
Yeah, obviously.
JONAS
I don’t think Nancy is going to murder you.
BETHANY
That’s great, Jonas.
9.
10.
JONAS
Because you also thought Patricia was going to murder you.
(Beat.)
Do you think this might be a little bit like that?
BETHANY
(Yes. I do.)
No. I don’t.
JONAS
Cause it’s feeling a lot like that.
BETHANY
It’s different.
JONAS
And the last time it felt like thatBETHANY
(Turning it back on them.)
Enough. I get it. You don’t trust me. However, I am going to find a way out of here. And
you are invited to come with me. If you want. Which I guess you might not want, even if
people are dying all around us.
Or maybe you want me to escape on my own so that you don’t have to deal with
Bethany any more.
JONAS
I’m signing you up for therapy.
BETHANY
Or you can use your Caregiver’s money and buy us a way out of here- what did you say?
JONAS
Bethany. I said I’m signing you up for therapy.
BETHANY
But10.
11.
JONAS
My Caregivers think I’m dead, Bethany. Because the ship I was on was incorporated and,
honestly, not hearing from them has been just another one of the perks of the job. Just
so you know.
BETHANY
I, uh, I don’tJONAS
And there’s a therapy program here. So I signed you up for it. Because that’s what a
good senior neophyte would do.
BETHANY
What?
JONAS
Don’t worry, it doesn’t cost anything. Mostly because it’s experimental.
BETHANY
What?
JONAS
I don’t know how to help you. So I’m asking for help.
BETHANY
Uh, no. I’m not doing that.
JONAS
Okay. I can’t make you do anything. Mostly because I think ultimatums about therapy
are destined to blow up in my face.
BETHANY
You can’t just sign someone up for therapy, Jonas.
JONAS
I can, it was in the packet.
BETHANY
The packet you didn’t give me?
11.
12.
JONAS
That’s the one.
BETHANY
So this is your fault?
JONAS
Pretty sure we keep having this argument.
BETHANY
And we’re having it again.
JONAS
No. I’m just here until the Sub-Director arrives to administer the therapy, then I get to go
talk to NancyBETHANY
But Nancy wants to kill you, Jonas. Like, 82%.
JONAS
Okay, do you see why you might benefit from Therapy?
BETHANY
But Jonas, I’mJONAS
Please, Bethany. Go to therapy.
BETHANY
But... with the Sub-Director?
SUB-DIRECTOR
Did somebody say therapy with the Sub-Director?
JONAS
And that’s my cue to leave. Have fun you two.
BETHANY
But Jonas, I12.
13.
JONAS
(In the hallway.)
Bye Bethany.
A moment.
SUB-DIRECTOR
(Fading out.)
Let’s begin. So first you’re going to have to sign a bunch of forms...
Interlude.
SUB-DIRECTOR
And you might just feel a little prick and... there, you’re done.
BETHANY
That’s it?
SUB-DIRECTOR
That’s it.
BETHANY
Huh, I was expecting more... you know... more.
SUB-DIRECTOR
Nope, that’s all there is.
BETHANY
...So you’re telling me the Mental Health Program is just a button I have to wear pinned
on my clothes all day?
SUB-DIRECTOR
Not just any button, it’s an AI-empowered button that will help you correct your
thoughts and actions into more positive thoughts and more positive actions. And you
only have to wear it till you’re better or it gains sentience and we have to put it out of its
misery. Whichever comes first.
BETHANY
So, what, it zaps me when I’m sad?
13.
14.
SUB-DIRECTOR
No it talks to you when you’re sad. And also when you’re happy. And the rest of the
time too. 24/7 therapy at the push of a button. Get it? Try it out.
BETHANY
(This is stupid.)
Hi, button.
BUTTON
Hi, Bethany, isn’t it just a bright sunshine-y day?
BETHANY
Uh, no? We’re in space.
BUTTON
And you are so valid for that.
BETHANY
I don’t think this is going to work.
BUTTON
And it’s okay to have doubts, but let’s keep a positive attitude.
BETHANY
Do you respond if I shut up?
BUTTON
If I sense more than thirty seconds of continuous uncomfortable silence, I start reading
through my list of up-to four mental health affirmations.
BETHANY
Oh, great.
BUTTON
That’s the spirit.
SUB-DIRECTOR
The program’s still in development, there will be more affirmations... eventually.
14.
15.
Now I’m no therapist so I’m going to leave you and your new best friend to work
through whatever Jonas thinks is wrong with you, or any actions you might have taken
recently, especially actions that may have been caught on camera, especially actions that
are making their rounds through the personal communications of us Sub-Directors and
Directors and Over-Directors, or anything else really. Have fun and please remember to
give as much feedback to the program as possible. Bye now!
The Sub-Director leaves.
A moment.
BETHANY
Hey, Button.
BUTTON
Yes, best friend?
BETHANY
You can just call me Bethany.
BUTTON
Okay, Bethany my Best Friend.
BETHANY
What was the Sub-Director talking about just then?
Fade out on the office. Fade in on the coffee shop.
JONAS
So, I feel like I’m supposed to apologize for something, but I don’t know what, so if you
tell me what to apologize for, I can apologize and then we can order some coffee.
NANCY
They don’t have coffee.
JONAS
But there’s coffee on the menu.
NANCY
They don’t have coffee, Jonas.
15.
16.
JONAS
We’ll see about that. So should I count this as a first date or-?
NANCY
My Senior Neophyte is stuck on an antenna outside of my window.
JONAS
Bethany thinks you’re going to kill us.
A long silence.
JONAS
Which would be crazy, right?
(A beat.)
Right?
(A beat.)
I really wish I had a little device to deal with uncomfortable silences like these.
NANCY
I’m not going to kill you, Jonas.
JONAS
Okay that’s great. Let’s get some coffeeNANCY
I think I should thank you, actually. Or your Neophyte, at least.
JONAS
Oh yeah?
NANCY
This whole place is built on the obviously false premise that suffering is the sole source
of stories. Therefore, they make us suffer to get the best out of us. But they attempt to
make us all suffer the same amount. Do you see the problem there?
JONAS
Uh, maybe?
16.
17.
NANCY
And then, maybe, some neophyte comes along and knocks the whole equation out of
balance. And then some other neophyte gets more suffering to turn into more stories.
JONAS
Okay you lost me.
NANCY
I’m going to speak frankly, Jonas. You are my biggest competition in this contest.
JONAS
Thank you? But it sounds like a threat.
NANCY
Have you heard the stories that Team Alpha Alliance puts out?
JONAS
Okay, fair point.
NANCY
Your team have suffered more than me, and certainly more than Tomas or Jesse. You came
in with an advantage. And then your Neophyte killed my Senior. So now I have all the
suffering and none of the setbacks.
JONAS
What was that part in the middle there? About my neophyte?
NANCY
The difference between me and you, as I see it, is that I don’t have a Bethany that I feel
obligated to drag along. If I kill Bethany, which I’m not planning on, you get to suffer
more and you get to not drag that sad sack around with you wherever you go.
JONAS
Do you think Bethany killed Desiree?
NANCY
Yes, Jonas, I do.
JONAS
That doesn’t make any sense.
17.
18.
NANCY
Why not?
JONAS
Because they announced that it was an accident. It was on the intercom and everything.
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence.
NANCY
Which Bethany interrupted.
(A beat.)
I knew Desiree better than you, and they are not the type to touch trash. You know
Bethany, what do you think?
JONAS
(Pause.)
I think I have to leave.
NANCY
But you haven’t ordered any coffee yet, Jonas.
JONAS
(A beat.)
Why do you think Bethany killed Desiree?
NANCY
Why don’t you tell me?
Interlude. In a hallway somewhere.
BETHANY
Okay, okay, okay, I think I’m starting to get it.
BUTTON
That’s great to hear, Best Friend Bethany.
BETHANY
I think that this is a nightmare. This is almost exactly like my last nightmare. Now
Patricia’s going to show up and break a mug and then I can shove them into the box, just
like last time, and then I get to wake up.
18.
19.
Come on, Patricia, you’re in all these dreams. Let’s get this over with.
BUTTON
Would you like to talk more about your recurring nightmares?
BETHANY
Hey Button, this is a dream, right?
BUTTON
I get to live the dream every time I get to help someone become their best self.
BETHANY
But am I awake right now?
BUTTON
Yes, and what a wonderful day to be awake it is.
BETHANY
Button, I think I need to talk to the Over-Director.
BUTTON
That’s okay, Bethany, the first step is admitting you have a problem.
BETHANY
Where is the Over-Director’s office?
BUTTON
You’re right, Bethany, let’s march in there and show our self-worth by asking for what
we deserve.
BETHANY
Yes, let’s do that. Do you do directions?
BUTTON
I can help guide you down the path of self-actualization.
BETHANY
Does that path include the Over-Director’s office?
19.
20.
BUTTON
It can if that’s what you need.
BETHANY
Take me there. Now.
BUTTON
It’s that door on your left.
BETHANY
Really? That’s convenient.
BUTTON
Oh best friend, we’ve been walking this way for hours.
A door slides open.
BETHANY
Over-Director, I need to talk to you now.
OVER-DIRECTOR
Of course, of course, young neophyte, come in. Make yourself comfortable. You’ve only
been standing in that hallway for the last half-hour. I was thinking you might just run off
on me.
BUTTON
We are here to demand what we deserve.
OVER-DIRECTOR
And what is that, Bethany?
BUTTON
Tell them, best friend.
BETHANY
I think I did something awful. I think I did something really, really bad.
OVER-DIRECTOR
We know.
BETHANY
I understand if you need to eject me from the program, it’s what I deserve. Just don’t
eject Jonas. They didn’t know.
20.
21.
OVER-DIRECTOR
There’s no need.
BETHANY
But, but IOVER-DIRECTOR
It is my unofficial opinion that you have taken a step to advance your team’s position in
The Contest. I’ve had to crack a few eggs of my own to get to where I am.
The video has proven quite popular among the various directors and sub-directors. We’re
considering adding it to our administrative employee offerings. It relieves a certain stress
to watch the Neophytes solve their own problems for once.
Of course, in an official capacity, if the knowledge of this cold-blooded murder, albeit
done in a confused, drunken rage, were to surface at the neophyte level we would have to
do something about it. The occasional accidental push into a trash chute is one thing, but
we don’t want some untalented neophyte to ruin a real prospect for us.
BETHANY
So, it was an accident?
OVER-DIRECTOR
Officially, yes. And, officially, you weren’t there.
BETHANY
And, unofficially...
OVER-DIRECTOR
Unofficially, your partner Jonas shows a lot of promise, but there are only so many
places in the inner circle. You’ll be hearing from us.
Now I have other matters to attend to. Close the door on the way out.
Footsteps and a door sliding shut.
BETHANY
Hey, Button?
BUTTON
Yes, Best Friend?
21.
22.
BETHANY
Did I do the right thing?
BUTTON
Bethany, I believe you are a capable and valid person, and even if you make mistakes
every once in a while, you can still be a good person.
BETHANY
So I did what I had to do?
BUTTON
And you are so valid for that.
END
22.